i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
