How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
