Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
im six kinds of drunk right now
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
