OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
