Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
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