she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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