i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
