is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
