i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
