there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
