To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
babies were throwing up all over the place
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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