I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Randomize
