We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
