is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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