If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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