He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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