i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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