You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
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