I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
