He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I wish there were birth control emojis
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
