so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
