By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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