i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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