Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Randomize