capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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