It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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