I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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