The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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