i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
you made out with another girl for some wings
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
