He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
