break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
