Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
