I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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