one word: firstdatebathroomanal
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
