According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i would one night stand the shit outta him
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
