based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street