he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Randomize
