She said her name was "party"
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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