No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
