I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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