I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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