yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
