I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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