Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
