NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
