well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
