i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
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You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
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I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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