i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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