Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
