i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
