imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
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