You work out of a Hotel?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
