its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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