So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I want her autograph on my taint
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
