we have pet lesbian snakes
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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