its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
