We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
