Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Sober January is a disaster.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
