You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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