i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
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