I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
