but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
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Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
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a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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