i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
