facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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