he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
